exposed...again

Its been a while since I blogged. Thank you for following my story and journey on facebook.
 
And I think its time I re-exposed myself as to why I feel the need to share my good, bad and the ugly.
 
I am no longer ashamed of my past. I share my story because I want to help and inspire others. No, not just in workouts. In life.
 
I was an insanely shy kid. My parents split when I was 7 and I spent a lot of time going back and forth.
 
I mostly lived with my dad. Until I was forced to join swim team I was lazy.
 
Highschool was not fun for me. I was sheltered. I was shy. I didn't have a ton of friends. And in my senior year some family issues had me move out and live with my uncle for the rest of the year.
 
Welcome to college. This is where I found my place. No longer shy but still insanely self conscious. Still insanely distraught by family issues. Still hid behind myself.
 
By junior year I started running, playing lacrosse, spending hours in the gym to make myself feel better...and then the worst thing happened.
 
Bring on anorexia,bulimia, food and exercise obsession. 
 
Just a few years out of college and I dropped down to 98 pounds. yes me! 
 
5'7", standardly big hip and butt girl was 98 pounds. What's worse. I was miserable! I was finally "thin" and I was the most miserable I had ever been.
 
I lost my job. I was losing friends. I was irritable and I was about to die.
 
Off to therapy I go. And yup, they got me to gain all that weight back. I learned to know what triggered me. I understood with all the family issues I had this was something controllable and I could control it in a heathier way. So yeah. No longer anorexic or bulimic. But still had an awful relationship with food. Still exercised more than I should and still felt crappy about myself.
 
By then, I had a good job. Great friends. A few years passed and even got married and had kids. Still felt ugly and faked my self confidence so my kids didn't see my weakness. The problem was,  although I fixed my physical disorder I never addressed my emotional disorder as well as I should have.

 
Almost 2 years ago when I signed to be a beachbody coach it wasn't because I thought it would change my life. I simply wanted a discount on the shakes I loved. I mean these shakes helped me drop a few pounds and curb some of my food issues (I was a binge snacker). Yes, I was still a food mess.
 
Then something amazing happened. I decided that I should try and cover my shake costs by selling them. I mean I loved working out. For sure I could help motivate and inspire others. And while I was at it I could cover my own costs.
 
What I didn't realize would happen was how many people would come out and share their struggles with me. By them sharing I was able to tap into my internal need to help people and I finally felt comfortable sharing my story. This is amazingly freeing to let it go and no longer be ashamed of your past. I still have several family problems going on. I still have some food issues. But what I have gained from my mess is confidence. I feel better than I ever had. I love inspiring people to not only get healthy physically but mentally too. We are all human. We all have a story. And we all have the right to share especially when it provides healing for yourself and can possibly help others.
 

Now after almost 2 years of coaching I have NEVER paid for my shakeology (because of coaching). I have lost a few pounds. Gained a whole new family and confidence that I have never had. 
 
I hope you will continue to follow my story. I hope you will reach out if you'd like some support, motivation and coaching. 
 
And mostly. I hope you learn to live and love freely. Be true to you  and of course Lead by example for those amazing people in your life.

I hope you'll follow me at facebook.com/jenzfitness and check out  my youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvVKuhG7O1hmEN5Qpu-lgGQ